Queenie Questionnaire

      Since Queenie rightly nudged me about doing something with this site, it's only appropriate that I give my own answers for a questionnaire that I found on her site. Warning: expect typical degrees of Doctorial facetiousness.

1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES?
Ceramic blue and grey. Unless they're dirty, in which case bacterial brown.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
No specific thing. Am always between several books at any given moment. Rereading The Iliad and Beowulf. Also Sir Frank Kermode's Shakespeare's Language, Dame Helen Gardner's The Art of T.S. Eliot, and my usual bar-shots of lyrics.

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Dust and probably cigarette ash. Oh, and topless Australian bimbettes. You can blame my aunt for last fact.

4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Probably Scrabble, but no one ever wants to play against me. *pout*

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Playboy. For the articles.

6. FAVORITE SMELL?
Cinnamon on a warm summer day.

7. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?
Vomit, which if it doesn't qualify as a small unto itself, it should.

8. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
If you think I'm answering that question....

9. FAVORITE COLOR?
Plaid.

10. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR?
Jaundice.

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
I don't answer the phone.

12. FUTURE CHILDREN'S NAME?
"Rotten Little Bastard That Ruined My Life" and "Target Practice."

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?
That funny thing in the middle of the game board that you spin. Always thought that thing looked neat.

14. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Vanilla.

15. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
The only driving I do.... well, let's not go there.

16. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Depends how much she ate that night. Just kidding. No.

17. STORMS- COOL OR SCARY?
Never scary, sometimes cool. Hmmm, wetness....

18. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
Probably a Tonka.

19. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE?
Hmmm: Shakespeare, Alec Guinness, Van Morrison, Graham Greene, John Donne, Wallace Stevens, Leonard Cohen.... So many. In the end, the one I'd most like to meet is the one I've met and will never see again.

20. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
The next one.

21. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN & BIRTHDAY?
Yield. Actually, I'm an August Virgo, in both possible senses of that phrase.

22. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Sometimes. Others, I save them for cell research.

23. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Professor of Poetry and Other Favourite Things. Corruptor of Youth.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR WHAT WOULD IT BE?
My hair colour is about the only thing I'm happy with.

25. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?
Half-empty. Why? Because it is.

26. FAVORITE MOVIES?
Too many. Overall: The Bridge On The River Kwai.

27. DO YOU TYPE WITH THE RIGHT FINGERS ON THE KEYS?
Hahahahahahaha.... Worst Typist Ever.

28. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
Books, slippers, and the ghost of T.S. Eliot.

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?
Sixty nine. Four.

31. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR?
Betrayal.

32. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR?
The one that would impress the person I'll never see again.

33. PERSON(S) MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Whoever is most bored.

34. PERSON(S) YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Burgess Meredith.

35. FAVORITE CD?
Van Morrison, Moondance, which I can't listen to anymore.

36. FAVORITE TV SHOW?
The Simpsons, The West Wing and the UK Whose Line Is It, Anyway?

37. KETCHUP OR MUSTARD?
On what?

38. HAMBURGERS OR HOT DOGS?
Hamburgers. I don't like sticking phallic-shaped things made of pig lips and recta.

39. FAVORITE SOFT DRINK?
Cola, non-diet.

40. THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN?
Nowhere.

41. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW?
Don't think there is one right now.

42. BURGER KING OR MCDONALDS?
Neither.

43. FAVORITE PET?
No such thing as favourites. Bandit, Trouble, Blake. Only Trouble, sadly, remains. Which, I guess, should tell ya something.

Okay, there we are. I've now added something to this blog. Not much, I know. Yawn. Saturday. Must to work.